This is me - stripped.

This blog is going to be about my journey to life. Even though it will embarrass me completely - my vow is to write about my journey of losing weight, of getting healthy. Starting at the beginning - my grandfather died shortly after I graduated high school. At that time I felt like I had nothing under control except for one thing, eating. As you might tell from that statement - I was heading down a road of Anorexia.

 

I told nobody about this problem - it was mine to deal with. After a while - people around me started noticing things. The fact that I would excuse myself before every meal (and not come back until it was all cleaned up and put away) - the fact that I was losing weight at a quick pace. Finally - after months - I had a family member confront me and it all came out in the open. I moved in with people who are now my in-laws. They helped me get past my fear of not being able to control my entire world. Dec 2007 - I married my best friend. I weighed 145 pounds. Life couldn't have gotten any better!!!

 

 After a year of being married - I got pregnant. Let me tell you - it was the hardest pregnancy ever!

 

 To make this story short I'll go over just the major points. Couldn't keep anything down (most expecting will understand this), lost 7 pounds, had emergency surgery at 10 weeks (scary), still couldn't keep anything down, started having back pains, found out we were having a baby boy!, lost baby boy at 19 weeks due to complications. I did a downward spiral after this happened. I didn't want to go back to not getting - so I shoved my face with food until my pains went away. The summer after I lost my baby boy - I gained probably 20 pounds. It's been 4 years since that has happened and I haven't lost the weight from that tragic time. I've actually gained more weight.

 

 This is who I am now. I am a 5 foot 6 inch, 26 year old female who weighs 226 pounds. No I do not have cancer if that is what you are thinking - I shaved off my hair in support of my lovely and amazing grandmother. She is fighting stage 4 lung cancer. I'm afraid of what will happen to me emotionally when she leaves this earth, and I am bound and determined to get my life into shape before that happens. So hopefully when it does happen - I can turn to something healthy when feeling emotional instead of something destructive. This blog - is my journal of losing the weight that has been holding me back for years. I'm writing it - not for you - but for me. Putting myself out there - I feel is the way that will keep me motivated to finish the task. As you read these posts - please leave words of encouragement. I'm sure going to need them.