Week 1

I'm extremely happy to say that I've lost 5 pounds since last Monday.  I never thought I was going to lose that much.  I was hoping for 2 pounds at best!  I guess that's what walking/running 18 miles does for you!

This week has been hard but awesome! One thing I learned about myself this week - I AM STRONGER THAN MY PAIN!!!

Thanks to everybody who has been encouraging me this past week - leaving me awesome comments and I'm sure positive thoughts and prayers.  I love you all.

I will prevail!!!

Today was by far the WORST day yet.  I was about a half a mile into my workout - when my back went out on me (not surprising...poor thing - look what I've done to it over the past few years).  You know you are hurting when you contemplate lying down on the sidewalk to get some relief.  Now - if you are a Mother (especially my mother) I would suggest skipping the rest of this blog.  If you don't - well then please don't gripe at me at the end.  I, being the competitive one by nature, decided to push through the pain and finish my THREE MILE workout.  I was walking through the pain - my vision blurred by tears.  I said a tiny prayer - and lets be completely honest - it WORKED.  I asked for some relief from the pain - and enough was taken away from me so that I could finish my workout.  Yes Ladies and Gentleman - with a thrown back I FINISHED my three mile workout.  It was the prayer along with my will power (which was surprisingly strong today) that got me through my workout.  I told my body that this whole workout thing was going to be my new life now - and that it (being my body) should just stop fighting the process and let it happen.  We'll see how tomorrow goes.  I hope it listens better than it did today.

Wish me luck!

Today I had a VICTORY!

Yesterday I went 3.2 miles in 58 mins.  I walked it of course.  I am trying to do things in a realistic sort of manner.  Today - I went to walk/jog another 3.2 miles and I noticed how heavy I truly was.  My every bone ached - my muscles ached - and my spirit was tired.  Lap #1 - walked 75% and jogged the other 25%.  A feat in and of itself.  About half way through lap #2 I noticed my usually wet throat was extremely dry and achy   Stupid me - I didn't take any water.  I was only going to workout for an hour - who needs water in an hour (DUH!).  After lap # 2 (only 40 mins into my 1 hour workout) I sat down to drink some water (my hubby brought me some).  BAD IDEA.  

Mental note #1.  Do not SIT down to drink water - when you are already tired and sore and a little down in the head.  Make sure you keep walking while you are drinking water.

After I drank the water - I told myself that I couldn't go any further (the mind is a terrible wall).  So I went inside and took off my running shoes and resigned myself to failure.  

Here is how my reward system goes - for every 50 scheduled workouts (1 hr each) - I get to have a professional massage.  Once I reach the 100 mark I get to buy myself something - whether it be a new outfit, a movie, dinner out...whatever it is - I get to get it.  If I do not workout for a full hour - on my schedule day (which is 3 days on and then 1 day off - thanks to a shirt that Bob Harper was wearing) then my marks go back to 50 and I have to start over again.  

On top of that - with every 1 hour I workout - I get $1 (I got a dollar...I got a dollar...I got a dollar hey hey hey hey).  That is my money to keep - even if I do not workout for a full hour I get to keep the money that I have previously earned but do not get a dollar for that specific day.

As I was sitting there, feeling like a great big bag of nothing, my wonderful husband encouraged me to finish the extra 20 mins that I had left.  He suggested that I do 20 mins of crunches (which I loathe), jumping jacks, push ups etc. and then he said something that kicked me out of my woe is me feeling.  He said - okay then - go put your marks back on the board.

Now I only have taken off 1 mark so far - and to put that mark back on the board, after only a day, seemed like a terrible tragedy.  So I picked myself back up - put in my running shoes - grabbed my cute little dog and we went for a 1 mile walk.  

I DID IT!!!! Laziness = 0; Determination = 1.  

I'm thankful to my wonderful, loving, supportive husband who helped me get through today.  If you don't have a support system - set one up people.  They really do help.

And I know you were all wondering - here is a cute pictures of my dog! His name is Toby!

This is me - stripped.

This blog is going to be about my journey to life. Even though it will embarrass me completely - my vow is to write about my journey of losing weight, of getting healthy. Starting at the beginning - my grandfather died shortly after I graduated high school. At that time I felt like I had nothing under control except for one thing, eating. As you might tell from that statement - I was heading down a road of Anorexia.

 

I told nobody about this problem - it was mine to deal with. After a while - people around me started noticing things. The fact that I would excuse myself before every meal (and not come back until it was all cleaned up and put away) - the fact that I was losing weight at a quick pace. Finally - after months - I had a family member confront me and it all came out in the open. I moved in with people who are now my in-laws. They helped me get past my fear of not being able to control my entire world. Dec 2007 - I married my best friend. I weighed 145 pounds. Life couldn't have gotten any better!!!

 

 After a year of being married - I got pregnant. Let me tell you - it was the hardest pregnancy ever!

 

 To make this story short I'll go over just the major points. Couldn't keep anything down (most expecting will understand this), lost 7 pounds, had emergency surgery at 10 weeks (scary), still couldn't keep anything down, started having back pains, found out we were having a baby boy!, lost baby boy at 19 weeks due to complications. I did a downward spiral after this happened. I didn't want to go back to not getting - so I shoved my face with food until my pains went away. The summer after I lost my baby boy - I gained probably 20 pounds. It's been 4 years since that has happened and I haven't lost the weight from that tragic time. I've actually gained more weight.

 

 This is who I am now. I am a 5 foot 6 inch, 26 year old female who weighs 226 pounds. No I do not have cancer if that is what you are thinking - I shaved off my hair in support of my lovely and amazing grandmother. She is fighting stage 4 lung cancer. I'm afraid of what will happen to me emotionally when she leaves this earth, and I am bound and determined to get my life into shape before that happens. So hopefully when it does happen - I can turn to something healthy when feeling emotional instead of something destructive. This blog - is my journal of losing the weight that has been holding me back for years. I'm writing it - not for you - but for me. Putting myself out there - I feel is the way that will keep me motivated to finish the task. As you read these posts - please leave words of encouragement. I'm sure going to need them.